100 Days

There is hope. One hundred days from now I get to see if things are as I hope that they are. Yes, it is vague posting, but not like anyone reads this,

Lost Connections

Have you ever felt as if you have, or are in the process of losing a connection? Like it was strong three weeks ago, but today it feels as if it is fading? That's where I am currently, and it annoys me. Mainly because I have no idea why.

Updates

Not much really to report.

I've had my brother Gordon on my mind the past few days. This has been reinforced by the fact that my spotify playlist keeps playing songs Gordon played into the ground. I swear at one point in my life if I head Rascal Flats' "Life is a Highway" one more time I was gonn jump out of the moving car.

Father's Day is coming up, and that is just another reminder that Dad is no longer with us. Grief is wierd, you go months without thinking of someone you lost and then you hear a song or see something that makes you think of them and that scab is ripped right off the scar. I can't get over how the pain, when remembered, is as strong as the day it happened.

Connections. And this will be vague. Why do I find myself drawn to the unobtainable? Why is something I want 3,635 km away? Logistics are being worked on, so we will see how that comes out.

Out of reach

This one will be very shot, and very vague. Not like anyone reads this anyway.

You ever meet someone who not only are they out of your league, but the physical distance feels insurmountable?

Yeah, that's where I'm at currently.

One Year Later

It's been a year since I had to put Sansa down. A whole year of questioning what I did wrong, how I could have prevented it, what I could have done different.

Currently, my sleep is off again. I typically get 4-5 hours each day of sleep. My brain is foggy, my body feels worn. Right now I'm at work and all I want to do is make it through the next four and a half hours so I can go home and sleep.

It seems the only times I can sleep is when I take Zquil, but then I wake up feeling drunk, not hung over, but drunk. Even now I'm finding it hard to find the words to put here.

SO at any rate, that's where I am. Tommorrow is the one year anniversay of Gordon's death, so I'm feeling that too.

Welcome to 2025

So, here we are. 2025, and we are off to such a fine start.

The President elect is talking about invading Greenland and Panama. He also wants to rename the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America.

There are fires in California.

There was a terrorist attack in New Orleans and L.A. by two men who were in the military, US Citizens, and were stationed at the same base over seas.

A plane crashed into a furniture store

And here it is only the 9th. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Well then

So, mental note... meeting people online is a complete waste of time.

Met this woman, and we spoke for three week. The vibe felt right, we had a bunch of the same tastes and interests. And then, One morning it's good morning (replied), how did you sleep (replied) What should we discuss today (replied) Tell you what, ask me anything (and then she starts blocking me across all platforms.)

So again, to any woman who is reading this. If a guy has done something wrong could you at least TELL HIM WHAT IT IS?

Thanks